“Coffee please. With a double shot of tequila,” I say.
“Oh! Ok. One of those days?” says the waitress.
“You fucking bet,” I say.
I just met with the divorce lawyer. A rendezvous I’ve been putting off for a very long time.
The draft separation agreement I wrote up, was torn to shreds. And as I sat there, taking my first sip of delicious boozy coffee, I felt the reverberations of what felt like a boxing match.
Sure. I get it. Divorce lawyers exist for a reason. All too often, breakups turn nasty. And people do things you never imagined they could.
But to be bludgeoned over the head with “worst case scenario” after “worst case scenario,” felt like a back alley brawl....and not the jazzy high-kick West Side Story kind, either.
And the funny thing about “worst case scenario” thinking, is that I really don’t think we do enough of it.
Or rather, we do enough of it.....but we only do it half-way. We don’t complete the loop.
Evolutionarily speaking, the very best “worst case scenario” thinkers were the ones who survived! We are absolutely programmed to anticipate the beast.
But in this day and age......for “worst case scenario” thinking to benefit us, we need to pair it with a plan of action.
If the nightmare you imagine were to happen, how would you deal with it? How could you get things back under control?
We have survived 100% of our worst days. We always do. And yet somehow we often fixate on the calamity, rather than our evergreen ability to rebuild.
All too often, we spend time looking side-long at our fears. Seeing them, but giving them all the control. And call me scandalous, but I love to be in control. You know. Tie my fears up to the bed posts every now and then.
This, I feel, is what is happening with the current Coronavirus pandemic.
People are panicking over “worst case scenario” thinking, because they are peaking around the corner at fear, and then letting it drag them into the ring.
Toilet paper. Bottled water. Creamed corn. The stockpile is real. And although a certain amount of preparedness makes sense, there is some extreme anxiety going on.
Changes in policy. The way we socialize. The way we eat, sleep, and breathe.
It’s all under scrutiny.
I can, however get behind the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle style foot high-five. THAT has absolutely been missing from my life.
Now, I’m not a big Star Wars fan. But yoda? He’s the shit.
In all his wisdom, Yoda once said,
“Named must your fear be, before banish it you can.”
Rather than boxing with fear, we must dance with it. Look it in the eye, offer a hand, and bring it in close for a late night dance floor booty grind. Or at least a waltz.
Dancing with fear is about facing it head on. And then creating a masterpiece that Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers would be envious of.
So often, we keep fear at an arm’s length. And only when there is impending doom, or a perceived threat, do we look at it.
How often have we been shocked into action, when a co-worker, a friend, a parent.....gets diagnosed with an illness. We feel like we dodged a bullet. It could have been us. And so we start buckling down on our health, once and for all.
Until the sense of urgency wares off, that is.
When it comes to fitness, people tend to conveniently look the other way. Until it’s too late.
And so....if this current climate of fear has reminded me of anything, it is that, we could all die tomorrow. Every single day of our lives.
“Worst case scenario” the shit out of your health, and realize that caring for your body is truly life-or-death.
But rather than linger in panic, realize that daily energy and effort and care is the equivalent of the most elegant pas du deux. It is the show stopping Beyoncé number that will elicit cries for an encore. It is naming your fear. Then co-creating with it.
See, know, and understand the consequences of ignoring your health. Think "worst case scenario." Then create a plan of action to deal with it.
Because when we all run out of toilet paper, you’re gonna want to be able to execute a high-speed highway truck heist to get some. And you don’t want to have to stop to catch your breath while doing it.